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Greetings! Going to share some items from my personal life -- shared experiences about the natural cycle of life. Life is outstanding. Now onto our story... |
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It's been a pretty interesting few weeks for me. My Ultraman experience wasn't quite what I hoped for but, in hindsight, it was an opportunity for me to take stock of a few things. I think that we reveal a lot more of ourselves in adversity than when we are cruising.
I shared some ideas with close friends about that experience and watching the reactions of various folks around me. With a month gone since the event, I had the chance to think through the whole thing. The experience itself -- well -- it wasn't the sort of thing that I'd want to repeat anytime soon. Losing control of one's body isn't a lot of fun. Missing out on the race, that might have been good for me at a certain level. I've been reading Tinley's new book, Racing the Sunset, and getting one's butt kicked by life (for time to time) appears good for long term balance. So the event, might have been just what my personal character needed. Scott and I have a bit of a running joke right now that I can blame any aspect of my life on lingering jellyfish toxins. Well, first my motivation went off a cliff. That's pretty normal for me after a big event. In early December, those damn toxins were messing with my mind... after my motivation cleared a bit, I made the classic mistake of the training zealot, over-did-it on my comeback workouts and gave myself a minor over-use injury. Nothing serious and there were more than a couple of people that insinuated that "it was about time" that I smoked myself. Kiwi's are a direct bunch. Anyhow, that forced me to ease off again. The thing about easing off was that it was quite pleasant. At first, a little too pleasant, I spent my days doing a lot of sleeping, writing, reading, coaching... the things that I enjoy doing. I did make the mistake (for five days) of eating 'real people' food for dinner every night. That was a clear error for me. I experience a direct link between mood and nutrition. A lot of the popular press encourage athletes to take a "mental break" from quality nutrition after their key races. Well, maybe for a day, but if you do it for longer than that, I've found that it always triggers a downward mood and energy spiral. If you are a female athlete then this is particularly noteworthy. Why? Because if you get alignment with your cycle, post-A race brain chemistry, changed nutrition, travel, work stress... then you can be seriously bumming all of a sudden (and not really knowing why) -- quite stressful and I've seen athletes take up to four months to pull out. When I get tired (mentally or physically), I spend a lot of time in bed. It's always been that way -- my sleep patterns are my best indicators of personal mood. In my teens and twenties, I also used to eat a lot of cereal during these periods. Thankfully, the Raison Bran's been on-hold in December. Although I do have a background craving for Crunchy Oatey Toasted Flakes (or whatever that brand is called, we can't get it in NZ -- I looked). Lying in bed, I was thinking through this note. I wanted to share one good memory from each month of 2003 as well as my favourite 2003 memory of each of you -- I was scrolling through my year and started to get overwhelmed with great memories, events and friends. There were far too many to share them all. Not one of them centered around pleasure or achievement in the traditional sense -- most centered around the camaraderie that arises from shared adversity or compassion. You might try that exercise some time when you are relaxed -- it helped me refocus on the things that bring me enjoyment. I also enjoyed listening to many of the people around me advising me to "back-off a bit", "come back easy", "ease into it", most of you know this advice because I give it to you all the time! I also found that some folks enjoyed reading and seeing the human side of me. So I've been sharing a bit more of that. For me it's easier to write about that than talk about it. When I have conversations with Shan or Scott about my personal challenges, it can be rather painful. When you know what it takes to achieve your goals -- you either do what it takes, change your goals or accept the fact that you aren't measuring up. The people that I know who achieve the most are often having an inner dance that, in the end, cannot really be won. Why? Because there's always more. The folks that most directly relate to me, who share a similar craziness, they were strangely quiet. Perhaps they know that my choices are made not because I _have_ to but because I love to. If my training is taken away for a period of time then I tend to replace it -- after IMC 2002 I wrote a book with Joe and Wy; after Kona Half 2002 I started a business with my buddy Chris -- so there's always something, there's always more. For many of us, I think there needs to be something. I quickly get myself into trouble when I am left with a lack of structure. Back to that conversation I had in bed... I realized that it's possible to have a heck of a lot of fun in a single year -- I was laughing quite a bit. I am a pretty strange fellow at times -- most of you see glimpses of the weird stuff that I come up with, some of you get to experience events that are, at times, a little embarrassing for me. Being at the center of the show, I have to live with the full monty of my personal idiosyncrasies -- the constant Fellini movie that's running in my mind. I spend a lot of time shaking my head at myself with a wry smile. Thanks for sharing another year with me. OK, so that's a small insight into my December. ++++ I offer my three lessons from 2003: A. The greatest gift we can give another is to make them feel loved. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is a little time for daily reflection. B. I have spent years trying to figure out what it takes. The challenge lies not in discovering what it takes, the challenge lies in executing our best view of what it takes. C. When it's all said and done, satisfaction lies not in achievement -- satisfaction lies in how we acted through the process of achievement. A medal, a uniform, a diploma, a daily log entry -- these are symbols of a personal journey of which you can be proud. Looking forward to another year with you. gordo |