Decisions, decisions...

A friend wrote me...

It seems to me that we all know inside what the proper path for our lives should be. Not specifically but in a general sense and the thing that holds us back is our inability (fear) to follow through. With all the changes in your life, have most of them come about as a result of a conscious decision to follow through on doing the right thing, for yourself? It would appear that hard work and willpower are the roads one must travel to "enlightenment".

It is so strange that the default behaviour in our life is one that is often not a positive step. Where did we learn this self-sabotaging? It would be great thing if we were able to always take a positive action by default.

I guess what I am really asking is, do you find that your current choices in a positive lifestyle, diet, thought processes, behaviour, are conscious or unconscious decisions?

Thanks for this note!

There is a lot here and I will just throw some ideas out for your consideration....

If you know what your path is then you are a long way ahead of most folks. I had no clue for years, I felt a calling towards many things. I did experience a general unease and a sensation that I wasn't doing quite the right thing. However, I had no idea where my path lay -- or even any concept of a "true path".

Once I realised that there was a direction that was right for me, a path, a calling, a vocation -- then it was a case of jumping out of the aeroplane. There is a great parable in a book called "Illusions" -- written by the same guy that wrote Jonathon Livingston Seagull. Anyhow, he writes about these little bugs that cling to the rocks in a river. They cling because they are terrified of the force of the river. One day, a bug, let's call him Bob the Bug, decides that he can't handle it anymore and lets go of his rock. His buddies think he is heading to certain disaster as he is swept away. Bob gets smacked around for a while but gradually he floats to the surface and cruises along. Along the way he sees lots of other bugs clinging to rocks. He tells them how nice it is floating on the surface but they all think Bob is crazy and keep clinging to their rocks.

When a person knows their path, they're silly not to follow it. Life is too important not to take the chance. What's the worst that will happen?

Change -- Change is an interesting concept for me. Change in my life, changes in my outlook, changes in those around me. Change is probably the only constant in our lives and much unhappiness can arise from resistance to change. As I have learned to lower my resistance to change (more specifically to "the way things are"), my stress level has plummeted. People quite often think you are a bit nuts when you are able to smile through adversity. So many folks take things so seriously -- why? What does it really matter? We're all heading to the same destination -- might as well enjoy the ride.

Every single decision we make in our life is a conscious decision. However, many (most?) people are making conscious decisions from an unconscious perspective. What do I mean by unconscious. Sounds a little new age -- doesn't it. That makes some folks uncomfortable and is why I try to stick with language from the "real" world (the unconscious world -- ha, ha, ha!).

We are all subject to our habits, our programming. These patterns run very deep and lie in our conscious and subconscious minds. In order to take control of our lives, we need to start by noting our patterns in our conscious mind. Some people find that mediation helps them observe themselves. Personally, I get the same effect on a long run or ride. I note my thoughts. I search for the source of these thoughts. I particularly like to explore the source of any recent stress or anger (those are the main negative emotions I have to deal with -- other folks will get things like envy, rage, jealousy...). As I am able to observe the way my mind operates, I am able to start to better control my reaction to situations.

Ultimately, the goal is to move beyond control of reactions to arrive at control of the total mind and influencing the subconscious. That is why I like affirmations and intentions so much -- they are able to reach and reprogram the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very sensitive and we must be eternally vigilant in our efforts to reprogram ourselves -- I work very, very hard to avoid any negative thought or statement. I read a book recently that reminded me that I have to continue to improve this aspect of my life. I am now making active statements in the directions I want to go. For example, did you know that I am currently an excellent cyclist? My power in the flats is quite impressive and far superior than a month ago. I'm going to have an excellent race in Penticton. Get the drift? I hope my subconscious does!

Know that you will have exactly the life you imagine. Think wisely!

Lots of people think that the road to "enlightenment" is paved with superhuman discipline and hard work. Perhaps that is the way to enlightenment but let's assume that our only goal is to be a little happier, a little more aware, a little more "awake" each day. If that is the goal then all we need to do is make a little bit of progress each day. By taking thousands of little steps, we will soon find that we have travelled a long way.

Of course, I am just saying that so you don't get discouraged! Many of us have been programmed to think that anything that is worth having must be very, very difficult to achieve. The truth is that there is nothing "hard" about following our hearts, our true paths. See my article on Fear. Wisdom and happiness do not require an apprenticeship. All we need to do is "wake up" and see the truth. It's just so tough to overcome ourselves!!!

My buddies say that I have phenomenal discipline and willpower. Yet, I constantly amaze myself at how weak I am -- you see, I know the real me. He tries hard, fails often, smiles a lot and tries his best to learn from his mistakes. You don't have to be a maniac to achieve happiness -- in fact, I am learning (finally!) that the middle way has a lot to teach us.

Our default behaviour is as we make it. We can change it immediately by becoming conscious of our historical patterns. Once we know our patterns, we can start to control them. When we are unconscious, our patterns control us. There is nothing stopping you from making every single decision in your life a conscious positive one. Nothing at all -- you are in total control of your life and every decision in it.

The source of our programming is meaningless. That's a subject for intellectual debate. What is essential is that we discover our patterns. This is the key to transforming our present. I suppose that knowing the source of our programming might benefit our children -- still, if we awaken then we are likely to imprint them with the same joy that we are able to experience in day to day living.

Verse of the day courtesy of my friend Lao Tzu...

I love that guy!

I guess this is a long way of saying that every single aspect of my life is my decision. When I am conscious then I make better decisions. When I am conscious, I seem to make the right decision and the World appears to go to great lengths to support these decisions.

gordo - 14 august 2001

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