The Grail and the ChaliceI woke up early this morning and went for a ride. What's so special about that? Well, it was my first ride in a week! Allow me to explain. After my race in Canada, I was hoping to be able to write the definitive guide to the IMC/Kona double. How tough could it be? Lori does it, and she was flying last year. However, at the back of my mind was the image of running into Chuckie by the Energy Lab. There was also this running commentary that kept popping into my head. Sometimes it was Phil Liggett, and other times it was Mark Allen. Whether it was a British accent or an American one, the message was the same. "The lava fields, home to many shattered dreams, cooked in the Kona sun like charcoal briquettes on a Sunday bar-b-que." Thanks guys! The first week after the race went pretty well. By day four I was walking normally, and had my race report to keep me occupied. It was good to see my pals again after arriving back in Hong Kong after two months absence. The sensation of my lungs filling back up with dirt was something that I could do without, but I kept my spirits up with the knowledge that soon I would be heading to cleaner pastures. Towards the end of week two, I started training again. My body felt great. A little too great. I realised that physically I was still peaking. Mentally, however, I was pretty toasted. I made a mistake and started training with a fast buddy who had not raced Canada. They weren't hammer sessions, but they were too fast for me. My log entry for September 15th sums it up: "Knee pretty sore. Did an easy run anyhow. Very stiff after." The entries then go from bad to worse: "no motivation", "workout cancelled", "stiff", "sore", "started rest week early"... Hey, wait a minute. This wasn't in the script! The last two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. Feel great, go for a workout, knee hurts, motivation goes, sleep ten hours, miss more workouts... It got to the point where I wished I could DNS Kona, and just go straight into my off-season. I wanted to forget about training, racing and Kona. My Holy Grail had become a Poisoned Chalice. I wanted to quit, and that's exactly what I did. I took the last week off, ate spring rolls for dinner, starchy carbos for breakfast and, aside from swimming, did absolutely nothing. I ate whatever I felt like, slept ten hours a night, and tried to think happy thoughts. Last night I had my Dad over for dinner and - after announcing I was injured and in my off-season - cracked a second bottle of wine. I was a little surprised when I woke up at 3:00 AM this morning and felt great. Even more out of the ordinary, was the realisation that I wanted to go for a ride. Not because it was on the schedule, not because Kona is less than two weeks away, but because I wanted to ride. So, Sunday morning at 4:50 AM, I mounted up. I started with a silent prayer that the drunk drivers would avoid me, put on my reflective vest, clicked my lights into place, and headed into the warm darkness. I rode. Steady on the climbs, hammered the descents, high speed turns in the dark. It felt great to be back training. After about thirty minutes I had a revelation. This is why I entered the sport in the first place, because I like to train. I asked myself why I was on this ride, and the answer came back crystal clear, "because there is no place you would rather be right now". Yeah, Baby! My motivation had returned! One week of nothing, and it was back with me. My legs had not turned to GU, and my heart had not forgotten how to beat. But what about Kona? Well, I did the training, I ran the races, and I earned the right to suck if that's what's going to happen. My ego had taken control, and I had forgotten about the huge gift that had been given to me. I thought about the worst day I could imagine in Kona. I smiled because it's still one hell of a good day. Four weeks of being unable to see the forest for the trees. With a big smile on my face, I took a short cut home, didn't run after, and blew off stretching. Chuckie, if you're reading this, be sure to put another Steinlager on ice. I'll be doing my best to get in before dark, but if I don't make it I'm sure you'll understand. gordo - 1 October 2000 |