Autumn Round-UpDon’t expect this piece to go anywhere. However, you might find a couple of nuggets (gold nuggets or dog nuggets -- you be the judge). Well, I could write my article on “A Stamina Based Approach to Endurance Performance”, but I’ve pretty much done that over on my board today. Increasingly, I get a big kick out of how seriously people take our sport. Everyone making sure that they are within 0.5 Borg, 3 watts, 5 beats... of their optimal training zone. Life is not like that, the body is not like that -- you simply want to get yourself heading roughly in the right direction and stick with it. Taking recreation too seriously is probably not surprising as the noise in most our minds is bound to pollute everything. I was running with a coaching buddy this week (John Hellemans, author of the Training Intensity book that I like). We were talking about some of what’s in here. I also explained my next article to him. In speaking with John, I realized that his method of training zone intensity was too clear, too simple for me when I first met him three years ago. I took note of everything that he said, but I couldn’t understand it. I needed some form of complexity to understand. It was only after thousands of training hours that I had the framework to understand it and then pass along my thoughts to others. So perhaps being married to our HRMs, Borgs, RPEs, Watts... is a natural part of our athletic development. I had an email from someone that merited a reply. I find it difficult to say no when a genuine person that never asks for something -- asks a reasonable, open question. So what did she ask? She asked... “Gordo, who are you?” Who am I? How often do we think about that? How do we define ourselves? How the hell do you answer that question? Well, I lay in bed not sleeping last night mulling over that point (when I did get to sleep I rolled right through my morning workout -- so Garrett probably scored an edge today). I have a page on my site, Who’s G, and I also have an outline at the start of my coaching page. Those really tell you what I want you to know. I feel like I am a lousy salesman, but know that I am a decent marketer. Maybe that’s simply my distinction -- if you are in sales and marketing then you likely know what I mean by that. I have a good ability to present strategically, but I’m crap at the social skills that typify an elite salesman. If I’m not interested in you or your topic -- you’ll know in a hurry. Back to my topic. My first thought was, “I’m just a guy”. When folks tell me that I am great or that I am a donut -- I often wonder why they can’t simply see that I’m just a guy. It seems pretty normal in here. While I can see that my life isn’t particularly normal, I wonder why so many folks let themselves be trapped in unappealing situations. Sidetracked again! OK, so when you look at me and my life, it may appear outwardly strange -- I spend a lot of my time doing stuff that most people don’t. Just fired up an online dictionary -- strange means different from the norm. OK, that means that I am strange. It’s confirmed! However, if that’s the case then I think that most of us would benefit from being a little stranger. So while the outward is somewhat strange, the inward is like most other folks -- I guess, I don’t really know what it’s like to be anything else. I do think that my inner dialogue is probably a bit happier than most. I tend to miss a lot of negative things that might be happening around me. I like my slightly clueless perspective as it means that I avoid a lot of potential aggravation by simply not seeing it. There are a lot of advantages to missing the majority of the perceived conflicts dreamt up by our minds. Other things -- concentration and focus -- either I’ve trained them or was born with them. I probably have above average ability to focus long term. Still, this doesn’t really say anything about who I am. I tried to come up with one thing that would give you an idea. I came up with a good one: People that spend time with me see an improvement in their quality of life. That more than anything tells you who I am. Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with why that happens -- the answer is probably different for each person in my circle. It’s simply an observation based on moving around the world and spending time with folks. That’s a neat effect because seeing people enjoy themselves makes me happy, then that makes them happier... it’s a good circle. Now, not everybody gets that effect, but I have to work pretty hard to screw things up in most cases. So that’s what I managed to come up with -- I’m a guy that helps people make themselves happier. Not a bad thing to be.
The other day I had a guy ask me what my best event was... swim, bike or run. People are always interested in that and I suppose it’s a nice ice-breaker when speaking with a totally obsessed athlete -- we must be a little strange at times. Anyhow, I thought for a bit and came back with “preparation”. I seem to do quite well as executing whatever it takes to improve. My best event is preparation.
Genetics -- It still amazes me that folks think that steady-state training works best on ‘slowtwitch’ athletes. That makes me smile. Who do you think most needs steady-state endurance training for an ultra event -- the athlete with natural endurance or the athlete with natural speed? What happens when an athlete with natural speed embraces the max steady-state approach? Mark Allen’s 8:09 in Hawaii -- that’s what happens! Personally, I don’t count LVL as he didn’t back it up to the extent that Mark did. However, there are some interesting training protocols (reverse periodization that were used by him and his coach). Athletes that like to hammer themselves will come up with all kinds of excuses as to why intensity makes them better endurance athletes. And while they are recovering from their two-hour group ride, I will log another six hours of endurance training.
Somebody asked me for advice on moving through a divorce -- here’s what I managed to come up with... I do have a few ideas for you, but remember this was 'my' experience so you'll need to think about it and only take what makes sense. Pain -- This is a tough time. You are going to need to talk a lot with people that will just sit and listen. During my divorce, I had my Dad and my best mate -- they really helped me out -- much more than I realized at the time. I needed an avenue to vent my thoughts and emotions. Training -- For me the physical release from endurance training was very useful. I don't think I did much high intensity during this period, but I spent a lot of time going long. Blame -- Your mind and the people around you will constantly seek to lay blame, to figure out why, to take sides -- there are no sides in these things. There is no blame to allocate, the situation simply exists. My goal was to deal with the situation to the best of my ability. Guilt -- I'd feel pretty guilty at times. That can lead into anger. I think so long as you expect the strong emotions to come, you'll be able to better control them and avoid making decisions and taking action when under lots of stress. Failure -- At one level, there is some failure. However, whatever has 'failed', well, that's already happened. So our job is to do the best given the reality of our situations. Another thing that helped me was not talking about things with people other than my two buddies. That kept the circle small and didn't eliminate any of my options by the whole situation becoming public in nature. Hey, all big words up there, eh? It's a pretty emotional time -- there will be a lot of ups and downs. Do your best to keep happy things around you, light, nature, music, these helped me. The lessons of the situation and the "why" -- it will take a while for those to become apparent. I am very glad that I did my best to treat my wife as fairly as possible. There were a lot of times when part of me wanted to lash out and be negative. By not giving in to that side, we are now good friends and I have much more peace with what happened. Those are the key things off the top of my head.
Someone noted that while I am very focused, I can probably be charming. Here’s what I said: I can be charming. We can both be charming, but… I always know that I am being charming because I want something, not out of some genuine desire to give the lady what she wants. I have little desire to give the world what it wants -- I act from a position of what I want to do. I never take any action for reasons other than I like it -- I think that is acting with integrity, but it seems a tad cold at times. If you look at all my close friendships, my genuine friendships, they are based around the fact that we have an alignment of interests. I don't have to act -- I simply have to be "me" and it works while both people feel a mutual respect and admiration for the other. Mulling that one over -- I might not have a desire to give the world what it wants but, if I am honest, then I do have a desire to be liked. So perhaps that’s a motivation to be charming as well.
Observations off the top of my head on relationships: At times, I don't have much interest in "creating" a life with anyone, however, people that are willing to support my goals are welcome. My life kicks ass. Any compromise towards you would reduce my quality of life. My happiness is built on an unwavering commitment to self-truth yet folks constantly ask me to compromise this truth. There is probably some truth to the observation that men perceive the hassle of relationship failure less attractive than any benefit possible from a meaningful relationship. I'm likely thinking too far in the future here and not experiencing the present. People that constantly test me, piss me off. Women like to test, powerful women especially. If I could refocus this into seeing them as part of a slacking notification system (my personal SNS), rather than an obstacle to be blown to pieces, that might help. My approach to any situation that is perceived as an obstacle is rather direct – blow it up or go around it… There are few things as intriguing to a lady than a powerful man totally dedicated to something/someone other than you. I think that it appeals on a lot of levels, most of which I probably fail to realize -- none of which have much to do with who the guy really is. Of course, life is lived in perception of reality so there's no blame in that. None of us see what's really happening -- that's a Krishnamurti discussion on the nature of truth -- that can make my head hurt. Many ladies seem to do well with a strong guy that is somewhat frustrating. You'll try hard to bend him, to crack him -- hopefully -- he won't waiver from his game plan. That will really piss you off, but you'll respect him -- I piss a lot of people off. Whenever I have compromised in relationships, it's been a mistake. There is a book called something like "The Superior Male" by someone like "David Deida" -- I don't believe it all, but there sure are some interesting concepts. You can try to bend me as much as you like and all I’ll do is laugh and love you. Yes, you are my woman, but I must be true to my mission. I think most ladies could deal with that.
A friend sent me details on the Stoics. Any of this sound familiar? One thing that struck me was what he writes about Roman Stoic thought - in particular Epictetus as written by his student Flavius Arrian in his book, The Enchiridion, from around A.D. 140. In describing the Stoic writing in general, Kingwell says [it] is driven by the central conceit that life is akin to a military engagement, a field of battle on which only the well prepared and brave will flourish. It therefore teaches the value of forbearance and strength of will. Even more centrally, it enjoins the kind of willed detachment from worldly contingency that is characteristic of the Stoic outlook. Then from The Enchiridion:
And on training:
The greatest thing you could tell a Stoic is that you recognize their stoicism. The ego of a man of principle would enjoy hearing that his principles are apparent -- he might then kick himself for enjoying that. At least, that was this Stoic’s reaction -- pride then control over pride. Then another pal fired across... The reference to the Stoics: 'stoic calm' is what most folks think of when they talk about stoicism. But more than that -- the Stoics believed the real sage was immune to misfortune and that virtue was enough for happiness. That anger and envy came from false judgments. Epictetus (50 A.D. - 125 A.D.) was a freed Roman slave. According to the Stoics, one can be enslaved on the outside, "externally" (have one's body in chains) and be free "internally" (be at peace with oneself in aloofness from all pleasure and pain). Dualism of mind (soul) and body: the inner realm is a realm of freedom (unless we let externals affect us or let events disturb our thoughts); the outer realm is a realm of determinism (things outside of our mind, including our own bodies, are determined by factors beyond our control). We have control over our thoughts and our will, but we do not have control over external fortune. Thus virtue does not consist in external performance, but in inner attitude. Not what we do or what happens to us, but how we judge or think about those things is the essence of good or evil. No external event is good or evil. Only the attitude or will of a man is good or evil.
I also spent some time with a few buddies after IMC. One of the questions I like to ask people that have known me for a long time is, “How do I seem to you? Do I seem different?” The best reply I got this time was, “You seem the same, it’s me that’s changed.” You know, I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing when I asked the question. That’s quite neat and shows that the world changes us more than it changes our opinions about others. All the more important to make a strong first impression!
Competition – here’s the best thing that I’ve come up with that over the last month... As high achievers grow older, the enlightened ones see that life is not a simultaneous competition with all forces at all times. In my 20s I competed on all fronts and all times. It worked for a period of time. However, once I focused my energy on where I wanted to go -- as opposed to whatever I could go against -- I was much happier and effective. It is very easy to get caught in a trap of competition for the sake of it. Pushing people simply because we can. Is it worth it? Are you sure? I like asking myself these questions from time to time.
Coaching Female Athletes I don’t think anybody noticed, but I was having a tough time for a little while with my female athletes. You see guys tend to be more flat line in their approach and execution. Ladies have natural swings. Anyhow, I was sitting at the ASCA clinic listening to all these successful female coaches (men and women) and feeling like I was totally out of my depth. These people really understand coaching, understand their sport, understand their crew -- they have it all. So I work myself up into a bit of an internal frenzy and decide that it’s in the best interests of my ladies if I simply fire myself because I certainly can’t be any good for them. They need better. They need someone who understands what it’s really like! But before I pull the plug on half my coaching business, I decided to wait a bit, relax and decide when I got back to New Zealand. Well, within two days, my ladies were back on the up-swing and sending me messages about how great “we” were doing. That perked me up and I understood, a little bit, about how daughters can make their Dad feel proud. I decided that while I need to continue to learn and improve that I didn’t need to resign, just yet. I talked it through with a couple of my coaching pals as well as thinking it through. I also learned a few things from the psychological aspect of the eating disorder talk. We can’t fix our female athletes. Guys tend to think that ladies are pretty screwed up. I’m not so sure that they are much different than us -- I think we are all screwed up and that is the normal state of being. Be very wary when you meet someone that claims to be the Buddha! Guys tend to keep those thoughts close to the chest and forge on regardless. Ladies hit the wall, crash and burn, pull it back together then soar for a while, before crashing again. I seem to help the most on the psychological side. Become aware of the negative patterns then support people in modifying them. Those negative patterns -- that is one thing that will get me to resign. I won’t work with people that aren’t committed to taking the steps required to break the negative cycles in their lives. By learning our patterns, I think that we can tolerate (and possibly moderate) some of our lows. Western Commercial Society does us a disservice when it communicates that we should always be “happy” and then describes what that happiness entails (according to my rap music, it’s shaggin, thuggin and a Bentley -- those whacky tunes make me smile). Life is not always fancy cars and movie stars -- I think a certain amount of mild depression is normal from time-to-time. You simply recognize it and take the steps to move through it. When required, you call in reinforcements and, perhaps, that’s the central role of organized religion and family for many people.
While we are on the topic of the ladies. I’ve noticed that many successful women, especially young women, have a tendency to deny all aspects of their feminine side. They see their feminine side as frail, weak, moody... you know the drill. Here’s what I told an athlete that I advise: You are a female athlete -- always remember the female part of this equation. So much of being an athlete is masculine in nature. You (and all of us, including Alpha Males like me) must take care of your feminine side. When things get out of whack, give consideration to this important point. Power-based sports require even more masculine energy, you must constantly balance the yang with yin. The greater the power that you are able to bring to bear, the greater the swings in your emotional life -- I've seen this with all powerful females. Expect waves and pack a surf board. I consulted an expert on this subject and here’s what she had to say: I used to have the same sentiment. Remember the hard attitude? I bet if I went in now to do the same job, I would be way more effective. Here's a thought starter. "Go with your strength" we often hear. Well, what is our strength? What we are in essence? What we learn / condition ourselves to become? I've often felt (in the past two years) that "fighting" like I did was really not operating from my strength. It was like using the wrong tools so I had to work harder. Not that the tools I employed were ineffective, just that they weren't really that suitable. Sort of like hammering a nail with a screw driver, most often you get the nail in, but it takes a lot more effort. If you used a hammer, it would have probably taken you half that time. ++++ Operating from a position of feminine strength -- the best female athletes, business women, mothers, leaders -- that’s their personal powerbase. Now when I talk masculine and feminine, I am not talking about men and women. It’s more subtle than that. I am talking more along the lines of exerting and restoring personal power. Eastern folks talk about the natural flow of Chi. I think when many of us hit the wall -- male or female -- we’ve got our flow out of whack. Replenishing the flow is generally seen as female energy (nurturing, restoring). With athletes, the issue is a lack of the feminine. With the sedentary population, the issue is a lack of the masculine. That’s why a lot of these gurus like using sex to generate energy within their followers. Its one of the few things that gets an energetically-inactive person moving again.
[mini-rant on]
Love and Feeling One of my little theories… once you make a person feel "anything" very strongly. When you return and are kind to them, this depth of feeling is retriggered by their brain. As you are being kind, they experience intense positive feelings towards you. It doesn't really have anything to do with us; we are simply the reflection of their perception. Of course, it's this way with nearly everything. Also, many folks are simply in love with being in love. Again, one need only fit the suitable model – dangerous when one fits conventional models of success. Another reason to be strange?
So that’s my round up.
Take care, |