The Secret

So you've got this big race coming up.
Yep.

How long you've been training for it?
About five months. It is the peak of my season.

How do think it's going to go?
Well, I am a little nervous.

What are you nervous about?
Quitting.

You never quit, why would that scare you?
Well, every time you do one of these things, your body, your mind, your soul - they all tempt you to quit, beg you to quit, try to trick you into quitting. You can still finish and quit. That's the toughest kind of quitting because only you know that you folded.

What do you mean?
Remember my race in Australia? I really wanted to quit, very, very badly but I hung in. That's winning. Sometimes, these races get you right to the edge, the cusp of quitting. I'm just worried that one of these times I am going to quit. I'll still finish, I may even set a PR but I will have folded. It terrifies me. It drives me. It stalks me.

Do you have the strength? Will you endure? You know it is going to hurt. Why do you do it?
To search for the truth. The truth in myself.

What truth?
How strong am I? What am I capable of? What are my limits?

What are your limits?
I have no idea. I don't see a lot of difference between me and the top guys. It's a game of percents at the sharp end. We aren't talking big differences. I also have a few advantages - a lack of stress and knowledge.

What's your knowledge?
I know the secret.

What's the secret?
The secret of getting fast is to love every minute of life and forget about getting fast.

How can you achieve a goal without focusing on that goal?
The goal is always there, everything points to the goal. But in order to achieve the goal, you need to be the goal. You need faith.

Faith in what?
Primarily faith in yourself. You are the goal. You have achieved it. You have to completely live it. When I started athletics, I was slow. I had a slow mindset, I didn't have faith. Gradually, I realised that in order to be fast, in order to achieve, you have to believe. You live it.

Sounds a little abstract for me. You are telling me that just by thinking I am fast, I will get fast?
Not really, you need to BE fast to get fast.

How can I BE fast?
Everything you do has to be geared to it. What you read, what you eat, the people you train with, the people you play with, how you sleep and most importantly what you think. You need to get rid of everything that prevents you from achieving your goal.

Sounds crazed and totally extreme. Get rid of everything that holds you back?
Yes, everything.

What if you family holds you back, what if your job holds you back, what if your friends hold you back?
You need to choose. Maybe, you are not meant to be fast. Maybe you are meant to be something else. You know, you can apply this to just about anything. It's really the secret of life rather than the secret of speed.

The secret of life is to BE life?
Not really. More like the secret of X is to be X. Take happiness. If you really want to be happy then you must BE happy. Get rid of everything that prevents you from being happy. Another example, if you want to be successful then you must BE successful. The list goes on.

But why do you have to be so extreme, isn't there some sort of middle way?
Yes, you can compromise but then you are likely to end up like a lot of people. Not really happy, not really fast, not really successful, not really whatever. I have never felt that we have to be satisfied with what we've got. There is plenty to go around. Why not maximise your share? Here I am really thinking about personal fulfillment rather than cash. I think cash can be a false God. I haven't seen much of a correlation between personal satisfaction and personal wealth.

Your mind controls everything. Physically, I doubt there is much difference between the top guys - must be a fraction of a percent. How can someone keep winning year after year? Their mind. They are able to reach beyond themselves. They are able to tap the source.

What's the source?
I have no idea. I've only experienced it in the mountains and a few times when training. A lot of people call it getting in the zone. Basically, your body kicks into autopilot, you are in the flow, you are one with the event. Your physical being and your mind kind of blend and you are in perfect athletic harmony. Your energy is essentially unlimited and you can feel power coming into you from outside. Have you heard of Roger Bannister?
Yeah, he's the first guy to run sub-4 for the mile.

That's right. Here's what he said when he broke the four minute barrier... "No longer conscious of my movement, I discovered a new unity with nature. I had found a new source of power and beauty, a source I never knew existed." Have you every run a mile all out?
Back in school, I did it a few times.

How did it feel?
Well, it didn't feel like I was one with nature, that's for sure. I hurt, a lot.
Right, there is a fair amount of pain when you are pushing the envelope. But when you tap the source, the pain is just another sensation. Like your breathing, your heart rate, your cadence. You are going beyond yourself, you are in perfect harmony. Mark Allen calls it a meditation in motion and that boy knows a thing or two about pain management.

So how do tap the source? I want some of that unlimited energy.
I'm still working on that. I haven't been able to figure out how to tap at will. It just comes sometimes. I have some ideas on how you can make it easier to tap in.

Do tell!
Well, it comes back to faith. You need to believe. You need a pure heart. You need to be open to the source, to the power of the universe.

Dude, don't get all new age on me.
I'm not. This is just what I think works. If you figure out an easier way then I would love to hear it.

OK, what else.
Not much more than that. You need to believe, you need to be open and your intentions need to be pure. Have you ever read about Himalayan mountaineering? The Sherpas have a rich mythology. If your motives for climbing a mountain are not pure then you can run into real problems. I bet that is how they see that Everest disaster in the 90s. Too many people climbing for ego. It ended in death and disaster. I see similar things with Mark Allen and Hawaii in the 80s. He needed to sort it out with the Kahunas before he was able to win. I took that from Tinley's book but it makes a lot of sense to me. He was probably sorting it out internally rather than with any external force. I see the whole internal/external thing as blended. I would love to get a chance to ask him about it some time.

So how do I start?
Do you know what you want to be? What you were born to be?
Not really. Who does?

Listened to what?
To that inner voice. I was either hammered, shagging or working. A little tough for your inner compass to work when you are over stimulated the whole time. For me, I needed to take time to listen, to reflect, to think.

So how long did it take?
Forever.

FOREVER!?
Yes, it is a constant process. You need to be listening forever. You need to be checking that you are heading in the right direction all the time. That's why I write so much. When you are flowing free on a blank page, you would be surprised what sort of stuff comes out. When you are sober, rested, alone and relaxed there is no place to hide. Just you and your voice. It's probably different for everyone but this is what is like for me.

I've got a headache.
That's good.

What do you mean that's good. I'm in pain.
In pain there is truth.

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